‘hope and fear come from feeling that we lack something’
/The whole idea of writing an article about thoughts came to me when I remembered a particular moment from my childhood. I was probably around five when watching Cartoon Network was my favourite part of the day. Even if I did not understand what they were saying in there, I was trying to get their faces, to understand their expressions and why they were fighting, jumping over each other and running around like crazy?
Then, of course, I got introduced to the world of monsters, where all kinds of zombies, skeletons, humongous animals will horrify me to the point that it would make it difficult for me to fall asleep. I have had terrible times after I saw a movie which name I am happy I don’t remember hehe- where this monster was coming out of the bed and dragging the victim in terror with it. ( although I must admit I was not supposed to watch it but heh, guess my parents were a bit late on that!:P) After I have watched it – and of course checked the bed- for two or three nights I had difficulties falling asleep, overreacting at small sounds, imagining scenarios where I would just jump on the piano and off the door (like a real Xena I was of course).
But then, after these two almost sleepless nights ( obviously I suffered in silence like a real hero!) and as my imagination was kicking in, seeing all those characters I just saw on TV- I thought they might just pop out in my room as well. It was then when I have figured for myself that the dark will be dark with or without being scared. That if I would not think of the monsters under the bed, those sounds will still be there, and my imagination could still go wild. If I wanted to.
This was really my first grip into actually making a conscious choice of whether being afraid – or just letting things be, as they naturally are. I understood that if I fed on that thought – if I went along with more reasons on why I should be afraid, it will really happen. I understood that I have to give in, let it be, and at a point, I have to be honest, it even went to I’d rather fall pray on the monster than missing one more hour of sleep!
The same reasoning applied when flying or when being in public transportation. I would analyse the pilot’s voice, again inventing scenarios and if consecutive abrupt moves would follow, it would be enough to put me on fire, and I would start being anxious and thinking about reasons why I am not yet ready to die. Hence, ever since I realized that it is not in my control to actually do something and I should rather relax and ut in the positive vibes for the driver/ pilot, I have come to terms with myself. I know I am doing my share. What else can one ask?
Of course I could go on and on with situations where I felt uncomfortable (a whole bunch of snake species and fluffy, big-mouthed mammals and let us not forget – the ocean!) but still, the conclusion would be the same. I have gradually learned to have a good relationship with being uncomfortable, of breathing in that fear. At the end of the day, it is all a matter of self-discipline and reflection on your own thought-patterns, and once observed, accepted, because it is only through acceptance that we can overcome that limiting self, that self to which we hang on so tightly.
Just think about it
‘to lean toward the discomfort of life and see it clearly, rather than to protect us from it’