On Experience – and the Duty to Ourselves

[ it has been a while since I last wrote and here is a portion of it – I have been to paradise, lived the eternity in two weeks (gotta say I was even lucky  for that!) and in all this have learned to be better at accepting the fact that moments come and go – long-awaited encounters leave you empty-handed and with a bittersweet taste in your mouth – it was yesterday when you had looked up at the sky and thanked the universe with all your heart. yet – you were aware that time has a duty – it goes fast when you don’t pay too much attention – and even when you do, it teaches you to be grateful for every moment – including for yesterday -even if today your universe is falling apart. sometimes we learn in a hard way but the important thing is that the lesson is there – that love is within and everywhere – eternity is now –  and the sky is the witness of our echo – an echo as an act of love. and love has no end – it flows through storms and drought. ]

It is true that things are transitory. It is also true that in a Disquieted Universe where we lose ourselves in roles, thoughts and external forms, where we are sucked in an avalanche of possibilities and games of power – we tend to identify with them and lose our true perception of what REALLY matters. We lose perception of the truth.

Learn to remember

We forget – we forget to look inwards, to connect and once that connection is lost, we are stuck in this vicious circle where we search for approval, for meaning and ultimately for love and completion.

We forgot that these things did not matter. In our pursuit for happiness, we have dropped the only thing that mattered and that we have unconditionally- to experience, to understand ourselves.

There is a common misconception that we have lost something, that we are incomplete hence we are looking for the missing part. Yet it is not clear to us that in this search we mirror what we lack and hence we will get back the same.

Evolution of Self

Evolution means to understand who we are and to let go of all the conditioning,  see behind the identities and roles we are taught to play since we are toddlers.

It can be the ability to have a self-fulfilling answer to ‘Who am I’ – that ranges beyond looks, rank or status and above nationality, colour or religion. Once you are free of all these social constructs – you are left with one sole thing – love.

Yet, you cannot know love unless you live it. Same as you cannot have a profound knowledge of something you only know at the theoretical level. Here, by love, I don’t intend the search for the ideal, perfect union or partner – but the experience of it inside out. On the outside, it is in the small things, daily, as an act of perpetual curiosity, faith and good-will. On the inside, it is the patience, the support and the compassion that we should nourish ourselves with, regardless of how society or others’ expectations might rule.

Experience and freedom

Experience in this sense is (at least for how I understand it) also the space you allow yourself to deal with that baggage you are carrying – it is the making of it light again and the ability to make small steps every day in that encounter with yourself. Because yes, when we want, we are our worse enemy. Yet when we create that space within, when we are capable to rule our universe, when we are aware of our emotions, roles and work towards not identifying with them – that is the true experience of the self. Then we are free.

‘To see the world in a grain of sand and a heaven in a wildflower – hold infinity in the palm of your hand and eternity in an hour.’ William Blake