So much has been said about being grateful, as a way of therapy, of actually working at the root and bringing your attitude from a negative state to a positive one. of being happy with what you have in life and eventually work for better (accept that with the right effort you will attract more.)
Don’t get me wrong – I do think that gratitude helps when you find yourself unsatisfied, when you don’t have any motivation or feel that your lack of satisfaction is proportional with higher you get professionally, personally or emotionally – when still there is something missing and so you find yourself out of sorts, with nowhere to turn, probably getting into this well-known modern series called ‘oblivion’, losing touch with yourself. The Sunday morning syndrome, right? When you are finally off and still cannot find a reason to get out of bed.
So yes, being grateful does help you see the half-full glass – so you go get some gratitude journal prompts, gratitude affirmations and schemes that nowadays are almost a trend for a complete, thorough self-care routine, along with meditation, yoga and a healthy diet.
But wait a second. How about why you feel grey – why you feel out of energy – of motivation? Do you explore that part or you just slip it under the rug and clean the surface? Or even worse, are you among those that think that there is something wrong with you? Because I have to say a big no to that. You are not alone. We are there with you. We’ve been there at some point in our life. That point indicates that there is something you should change, that you should start doing different, maybe there is something you should work at. But first and foremost, understand that it is ok to feel the way you do – and sooner or later you will figure the way out of it.
It has been a while since I introduced in my morning writing routine 15- 20 minutes of freewriting. I have found that it helps a lot! It is more than my counsellor, it is free, it is always there, and it is definite support for me to open up. I honestly feel lighter and even my inner critic seems to have become quieter ever since. So, during these sessions, I have come to realise that I have so much unwanted, forgotten luggage that I keep inside. So many negativities, so many things I didn’t say, things I have accepted, stuff I said yes to although I just wanted to snap, and instead just screamed inside.
And it made me think – Weren’t there so many people in our lives, situations that made us be different, not ourselves, situations where we couldn’t identify? What about all these? Did we let them out, or we just left them there and covered them in dirt, hoping to forget them, ashamed or maybe afraid to admit to ourselves that we were weak, that we did not know? Are we going to let them build up in there without no sign of looking them straight in the eyes?
So, just to make things clear, we’ve all had people in our lives, whether they were our parents, our friends or loved ones that wanted ‘our best’ and in this doing, they kept telling us stories of who we should be or how we should behave to be better – for them, for this world – whatever that is – better here is not who WE might have wanted to be. So there we were, nodding while it was not polite to answer back, saying yes when we wanted to say no, changing, adjusting when internally, we felt so wrong. What about all these stuff?
I tell you what – now I write every time I remember something that disturbed me, and I give myself credit for who I wanted to be then, I accept myself while being aware that then I was not knowing what I do now. Then I was not who I am now – and yes, all these experiences helped me in becoming who I am today, of course, however, I strongly believe that these frustrations, disappointments, fears of not being enough, right or perfect have to be released. We have to come to agreement with our inner child, for letting ourselves down and not standing up at that time. (and I don’t know about you but my list is long)
We need to open the window and let fresh air before we light our best-scented candles. Once we have done that, gratitude will enter our lives in a more natural flow, it will spark more vividly from our heart and it will certainly stop being just another practice for self-care, recovery or understanding. Only then it will be a conscious, self-aware practice that will elevate our spirit and heart.
Hope it helps! will be back with more on the subject! 🙂